Making Time for Self Care in a Major Way: Sefanit's Transformation Story

Written by: Sefanit Mekonnen Stefanos

With three kids under the age of five and a fulltime job, I was unspeakably busy! Every day was a blur of activity. From the moment I got up (or the kids woke me up) until they went to sleep at night, I was constantly serving the needs of other people around me. From wiping tears and changing diapers, to trying to ensure we have homecooked meals while also juggling the demands of work, it never ended. Most days, I wouldn’t eat “breakfast” until I put the baby down for her nap, while at the same time baking granola bars from scratch so the kids had healthy, homemade snacks.

Looking back, my inability to meet my own needs was so unhealthy but while I was living it, I didn’t have the awareness to realize what needed to change; I was too busy surviving. This complete lack of self-care, coupled with having had three pregnancies in six years, led to me not recognizing my body anymore. It was incremental changes, slow weight gain over the years that led to me being the highest weight I had ever been. Worse than the weight was the fact that I didn’t feel comfortable in my body anymore. I wasn’t working out like I always had in the past and although I felt like I had never been so busy in my life, that business did not translate to the active lifestyle I had always envisioned for my family. I didn’t have the energy I needed to be the mother I wanted to be for my young, active children and despite the constant caffeine intake, I was struggling to keep up with the demands of my life. Deep down, I knew things needed to change.

This was the greater context to our family vacation in December of 2023. Visiting my in-laws in California for three weeks was such a gift in a myriad of ways. Having all our extended family around the kids meant that my husband and I could take a much-deserved break. For the first time in six years, we had an extended time of rest and relaxation. We could focus on ourselves and our marriage. We took long walks around the city, we had the most amazing spa experience (send me a note if you want the details!) and, we had time and space to think about how the last six years had been. And, perhaps most importantly for me, I was able to get in touch with my discontent about my health. I was able to identify that I had lost myself in my vocation as wife and mother and that did not serve anyone well. And in my prayer, I knew that although this gift of family that God had given me is designed to take me out of myself, and to love and serve the world around me, I also knew that God wanted me to be healthy and the best version of myself. That was the only way I could be a wife and mother out of a place of joy and peace and, that is the mother I wanted my children to have. I told my husband that when we returned home, things had to change. I wanted to prioritize my health and needed a restart. Being the amazing husband he is, he expressed that although he thought I was perfect and beautiful just as I am, if this was about my health, he absolutely supported whatever changes I sought to implement.

Once we got home, I identified two things I wanted to tackle first; I wanted to lose weight and get back in the gym. I decided I would focus on one goal at a time. After talking with my best friend who had went through a similar journey the year before and successfully lost 40 pounds (and kept it off), I decided to use the same tool she used. On January 22, 2024, I started my weight loss journey using the program Optavia, and to date, I have lost 45 pounds. Optavia has given me an easy, step-by-step plan to incorporate all the healthy habits that we all know are important:
-proper nutrition calibrated to help me lose weight at the pace I want
-correct daily water intake
-right amount of sleep, etc.

Although I still have more weight I want to lose, I now have the tools to accomplish it. And perhaps more importantly than the weight loss, what I am most excited about is the marked improvement in my sleep and energy level throughout the day. In addition to my journey with Optavia, for the last three months I have joined a local gym that focuses on strength training and have consistently worked out three times a week. Although it will be a while before I can do an unassisted pull up, it is so great to be back in the gym and I can feel myself getting stronger every day. I look forward to my time in the gym and get excited about that one hour totally focused on my body. In addition to these more tangible health goals, there are other dimensions of my health and self-care that I have focused on:
-I have implemented more reading and less screen time
-I have prioritized my sleep and have done better about carving out space daily for my prayer time
-I try to have at least one adult conversation with a friend daily and have been more intentional about connecting with friends for an occasional girl-night out
All of these changes have made me a healthier and happier wife and mom.

“Being a wife and mother does not mean we put ourselves last! ”

— Sefanit

For the last six months I have had the privilege of being an independent coach with Optavia, and to date I have helped many people reach their health goals. This has been one of the best parts of this journey! Getting to cheer other people on like my couches cheered me on, has been such a joy. There are many different approaches to weight loss, and a lot of very effective tools available; you need to find what works best for you, promotes a healthy and sustainable lifestyle (no more yo-yo dieting!) and fits YOUR lifestyle. If you are interested in learning more about whether Optavia might be a good tool to help you reach your health goals, feel free to reach out to me via email me at sefanitmekonnen@gmail.com. Being a wife and mother does not mean we put ourselves last! We should focus on our health first, so that we can love and serve those we love from a place of overflow. Let’s make this year, 2025, our healthiest one yet!

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