The Sweetest Kind of Love: Donating Your Kidney to Your Father

Written by: Asmeret Tewolde Kifle

This Valentine’s Day, we want to share a special kind of Love Story with you; a sweet love story between a Father and Daughter that displays courage, sacrifice and great hope. Dive in as we hear from Asmeret, a Nurse and mother who shares her experience of becoming a Kidney donor for her father.

Tell us about yourself.

My name is Asmeret Tewolde Kifle, and I was born in the United States to Eritrean immigrants. While I’m proud to be a nurse, the roles I hold as a mom (of 2 boys), a wife, a sister and a daughter are where my heart truly lies. My parents have been the foundation of my life and development—everything I am today deeply shaped by their love, values, and guidance. They are the core of who I am, and their influence continues to inspire me every day.

We love seeing your bond with your dad online. Can you tell us more about your bond and connection with him and what that was like in your childhood?

Thank you so much for saying that—it really means a lot to me.

Growing up, Baba was very strict, but I now understand that it came from a place of deep love and a genuine desire to see me succeed. He always emphasized the importance of education and pushed me to give my very best. His high expectations weren’t always easy to meet, but they taught me the value of hard work and discipline. Looking back, I see how his unwavering guidance shaped my character and inspired me to strive for success in everything I do.

Through it all, Baba has been my rock. From childhood to this day, he’s the person I could always turn to, whether I needed advice, comfort, or just someone to share a laugh with. The time we’ve spent together over the years has had a lasting impact on me, and the bond we share is something I hold so dear. I’m forever grateful for our relationship—it has been a constant source of love, support, and strength in my life, and I cherish it more than words can express.

When and what was your father’s diagnosis that led to him needing a kidney transplant?

My parents were fortunate enough to retire early, and in May 2017, they traveled to Eritrea with plans to stay for a year. While there, Baba began noticing some swelling in his legs, which he initially thought was from the long flight. At first, the swelling would come and go, but by August, three months later, it became more pronounced. He told me about it over the phone, and without hesitation, I called a dear physician friend who rushed to see my dad. After assessing him, the doctor noted the swelling but didn’t see anything of immediate concern. However, he decided to run some labs and follow up with us.

The next day, the results came back, and my heart sank when the doctor told me Baba was in full renal failure—his kidneys were functioning at only 10%. We flew him back to the States within three days. Baba had always been a healthy, active man, in his 60s, who ran miles a day without any known health issues. Upon his return, he saw his primary care physician, who urgently referred him to a nephrologist. Despite being asymptomatic, his lab results were showing critical signs. Baba was devastated, and I’ll never forget sitting beside him at his appointment when he looked at me and asked, 'Asmeret, gualaye nab adey aymilesindey malet deu?'. Without missing a beat, I replied, 'Baba, I promise you, you will go back to Eritrea! You'll just be going with my kidney!'

Baba, the man who worked tirelessly to provide for us here and for our family in Eritrea, the man who left behind everything he knew—the only life he ever had—to come to a foreign land, leaving his loved ones and the country he fought for and bled for, did all of this so my siblings and I could have a better life. When the time came, he needed me, and I was finally able to give him the one thing he truly deserved—to enjoy life. It felt like the culmination of everything he sacrificed for us, and to be able to give back to him in this way was an indescribable gift. I never gave it a second thought!

To this day, we still don’t know exactly why his kidneys failed, but that moment and my promise to him became a source of strength for me. It’s been a journey I’ll never forget, one filled with uncertainty, but also with unwavering love and hope."

Tell us about the deciding factor(s) for you in choosing to be your father’s kidney donor. How did your parents take this news? Also, how did your family navigate this and what resources were available to you and/or what resources do you wish you had available.

Our family navigated Baba’s diagnosis with a mix of shock, fear, and determination. It was hard to process, especially because he had always been healthy and active, but we came together quickly to support him. The first thing we did was ensure Baba had access to the best medical care. We were fortunate that got the right attention quickly, and once we got him back to the States, we were referred to specialists who were wonderful at guiding us through the process. The medical team was critical, and we relied on their expertise every step of the way.

However, Baba had to be diagnosed with chronic kidney disease (CKD) for six months before the nephrology team could refer us to the transplant clinic. During that time, I threw myself into researching and asking questions to those who had loved ones who had received transplants. I reached out to colleagues in dialysis and nephrology clinics, trying to gather as much information as possible. I spent so much time learning about the process and what we could expect.

Once Baba was cleared and met the criteria for a transplant, our biggest challenge was getting him to accept me as his kidney donor. He refused multiple times, and it broke my heart. I told him that if he didn’t accept, I would donate my kidney to someone on the national donor waitlist instead. Baba didn’t believe the transplant clinic would let someone just walk in and begin the process of becoming an anonymous donor, so he asked his nephrologist at the clinic. The doctor’s response was, 'In a heartbeat!' At that point, my mom reminded Baba that sometimes I tend to be the wildcard in the family—and if he didn’t accept my offer, I would still go through with it. It worked! 😂

My parents lived in California while I resided in Minnesota. For months, I was constantly flying out for Baba’s medical appointments. As a potential donor, I too had endless appointments, lab tests, and diagnostics tests. Sometimes I would fly out early in the morning and return the same day without telling my parents I was in town, just so they wouldn’t get anxious or worried about results that could potentially hinder transplant plans.

Looking back, those days felt so dark and exhausting. It was mentally draining, financially overwhelming, but my husband, close friends, and colleagues were my pillars of strength. They supported me and encouraged me to keep going, even when it felt like too much. Through it all, the strongest resource we had was each other. We leaned on our family, friends, and community for support, and that became a source of strength as we worked through this journey. We also relied on our faith, which gave us the hope and resilience to keep moving forward.

What resources do you wish others in our community knew about and took advantage of?

I wish more people knew about the emotional support available, like counseling services or support groups specifically for transplant patients and their families. I didn’t fully realize how crucial mental health is in this journey until we were in the thick of it, and even now, there are times when it’s still a struggle. Having someone to talk to, or a group to connect with who truly understands, can make a huge difference. It helps ease the isolation that so often accompanies a serious diagnosis, and it's such an important part of healing—emotionally, just as much as physically.

Also, I think many people don’t realize how much they can contribute to the transplant process even before they’re physically involved—such as registering as organ donors or exploring living donation options. These steps can be life-changing for someone waiting for a transplant, and I hope more people consider becoming educated on how they can make a difference.

Overall, I think it's crucial for our communities to have easy access to this information and feel comfortable reaching out for help. These resources can be incredibly empowering and provide the support needed to navigate such a difficult and life-changing journey

Anything else you’d like to share about the process of looking for a kidney donor, transplant surgery and recovery, and life after transplant for you and your dad?

The transplanted kidney started working even before Baba woke up from his surgery, and it allowed him to come off peritoneal dialysis right away. It was a moment I will never forget—the feeling of relief and hope as we saw the miracle of life in action. I donated my kidney to Baba, but due to complications during the surgery, I lost my spleen. The recovery wasn’t easy, but every challenge felt like a small price to pay for having Baba with us today, healthy and thriving.

It’s funny, I thought that by donating my kidney to Baba, I’d feel like I had finally 'paid off my debt' to him, like I had somehow repaid him for all he’s done for our family. But the truth is, no matter what I do, I’ll never feel like I’ve done enough for him. The sacrifices he’s made, the love he’s given, the way he’s shaped our lives—nothing I could do would ever measure up to that. I’ve come to realize that the gratitude I feel for him runs so deep, and no act could ever fully repay the lifetime of love and support he’s given to us

A few months ago, we celebrated the 6th anniversary of his transplant, and I’m overwhelmed with gratitude seeing him live his dream—spending most of the year in Asmara and coming back to spend time with us and for annual check-ups. Our story has been a success, and we know how blessed we are. Unfortunately, many don’t get this kind of happy ending, and we don’t take a single day for granted. We continue to thank God for His grace, love, and the strength He’s given us through it all. Our hearts are full, and our journey is a reminder of the power of faith, family, and the incredible gift of life.

Thank you so much for sharing your incredible story with us! We hope it inspires and encourages others who are in the same boat! furthermore, we hope it encourages our community to consider organ donation.

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The Sweetest Kind of Love: Donating Your Kidney to Your Father

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