My Son’s First Cultural Ceremony
Written by: Beri Gebrehiwot
On October 20, 2014, the women in my family helped us celebrate our son’s 12th day with a traditional ceremony called ‘Aserte Kilte’ (literally, the number 12 in the Tigrinya language). This ceremony is typically celebrated in Eritrean and Ethiopian cultures.
Traditionally, mom and baby don't leave the house during the first 12 days after baby’s birth. On the 12th day, it is celebrated with all the women in the family with boon (coffee, of course), food, a fire and kohl. I’ll explain the fire in a moment.
Traditional bread called “himbasha".
Handmade “mekombia” with colorful beads. My cousin made it and shipped it to me from Eritrea.
As the eldest child and eldest daughter in our family, I’ve been the first to experience many milestones and traditional celebrations, i.e. graduations from high school & college, marriage, buying a home, having a child…etc. As the eldest daughter, my mission has mostly been to just “make mom happy” in most of these celebrations by submitting to her culturally specific requirements and demands. “Sure, mamiye- whatever you want,” was my typical response to my mom’s celebratory requests. However, with this traditional celebration, the 12 day ceremony, I was caught off guard as it was never on my radar. I barely remember my mom celebrating this same ceremony when my youngest brother was born 20+ years prior, and never attended such a celebration in my adult life.
If you squint, you can see the fire I just walked over ;)
I’ll be honest, I typically don’t press my parents for answers as to why they do things that they pass off as “cultural” or “traditional” –meaning they don’t have answers as to why it’s done…it just is. It’s what they did growing up and what their parents and grandparents passed down to them, so they in turn pass it down to us. My husband, on the other hand, never takes “it’s our culture” as an answer for anything, and thus pressed my parents for answers about why Aserte Kilte was celebrated, why a new mom is required to walk over a fire with a newborn in her arms and WHY they decorate a newborn’s face with kohl. Finally, after being pressed by my hubby, my father began to give an explanation of why Aserte Kilte was celebrated and how it started. According to my father, Aserte Kilte became a traditional ceremony after “many kids were dying left and right within the first week of birth. So, as a culture that believes heavily in superstitions, elders began to declare that newborns stay indoors, away from the ‘evil eye’ in order to keep them safe. Further, on the 12th day, the newborns can finally step out into the world in this ceremony of stepping over the fire and adorning their forehead and cheeks with crosses drawn on by kohl, as well as kohl on their inner eyelids (to whiten their eyes).”
Mom putting crosses on baby using Kohl.
Although I’m not quite sure if this is the accurate history of how this celebration came about, but I shrugged my shoulders and did it anyway…. I still thought it was a beautiful part of the culture and obliged.
I would love to hear back from other moms out there and whether or not they partook in a similar ceremony AND if they have different insight on why it’s done or how it came to be a part of our culture!
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