I Birth Like My Mothers: A Testimony of Home Birth
Written by: Mehret Mehanzel
Source: Pinterest
When I was born, my mother, Adey Lichielesh Berhe Gebrerufael was the midwife and medicine woman in our village. Our community sat in the farming highlands of Eritrea, East Africa, and I remember following in my mother’s footsteps as she roamed the fields and hills around our village, looking for the right herbs and roots to add to her medicine basket. At home, once mom was done with her daily tasks of cooking and cleaning and tending to her children, she would go through her collection of medicine supply. Sorting the different herbs and roots, doing an inventory of what needed to be refilled and processed.
I can still smell the varied aromas Whenever a woman went into labor, someone would come running and summon my mom to attend to the laboring mother and the safe arrival of a baby. Mom would always respond to the call, by collecting her medicine basket, covering herself with her Netsela (a white shawl made of cotton/linen) and calmly walking to the home of the laboring mommy to be.
Once she got there, mom would always begin her work by first greeting the community gathered around, washing her hands and feet, and saying a prayer. As a child, I found my mom’s work to be so magical and divine! My mind would start wondering, so full of questions, so tempted to jump in and ask mom to explain what she was doing. But I would instead be obedient, watch from a safe distance, and stay at the ready just in case I was needed to go fetch some important item. I loved being helpful, and being invited to take part in the magical welcoming of a baby into our community.
Now keep in mind, under natural circumstances, this would not be the first time Adey Lichielesh was meeting the new mother. No, this wise midwife would have guided and nurtured the new mom and baby throughout the entire pregnancy and sometimes even before (more to come on this later). During the pregnancy, Adey Lichielech would make regular visits to the pregnant woman’s home. She would listen as the young woman explained her symptoms and the condition of her body and mind. Then based on the information shared by the pregnant woman, she would make dietary recommendation, as well as emotional support recommendations. If the young woman is pregnant with her first child, mom would include the elder women in the family in the conversation, so they can provide additional support to the new mother to be.
You see, child birth for my mother and her community was not an individualized experience, it was a community event and the whole community invested in making sure the mother to be and the baby on the way had all the nurturing and support they needed.
I remember one of the most common dietary recommendations Adey Lichielesh made was the consumption of flax seed. She believed the nutrients from the sacred seed provided essential support both to the mother and the baby she was carrying. I did not understand it then, but I learned the importance of this sacred seed later, during my own pregnancy and child baring.
1. Although flax seed contains all sorts of healthy components, it owes its primary healthy reputation to three of them:
Omega-3 essential fatty acids, "good" fats that have been shown to have heart-healthy effects
Lignans, which have both plant estrogen and antioxidant qualities
Fiber
Read more on flax seed health benefits, food sources, recipes, and tips at: www.webmd.com/diet/benefits-of-flaxseed
When I got pregnant with my daughter Bilen, who is now 12 years old, I had been in the United Stated for over 12 years. So far away from East Africa and the norm of natural birth, and especially home birth, but that was all I knew. I knew that child birth was a natural process of life, and women all over the world had done this magical act of birthing for lifetimes. I also knew what ever the norm was in my new country, I was committed to birth like my mothers back home in East Africa. I wanted to welcome my baby girl, in the way my family/community welcomed me; in our home, immersed in the culture of coffee ceremony/Boon and Ga'at and eleleta. Well, we do live thousands of miles away from the highlands of Eritrea, and in a whole new time and age, but birthing should be culturally centered everywhere, right?
Not really; if you look at the research out there, birthing in the United States has become very hospitalized. I looked at a documentary called, 'The Business of Being Born,' which was very helpful in understanding the process of how birthing has become what it is in the USA, and why. There are many other videos on birthing, and natural birth specifically, but I recommend 'The Business of Being Born,' because it gives a clear picture of birthing in the USA.
Back to my experience of birthing, so when I had my first child, it was not an option for me to have a home birth, due to insurance restrictions. I was told that it was a liability to have a home birth. At that point, I did not have the resources to go find and hire my own midwife, so I asked for the next best option, a birth center. So my Bilen was born at Group Health Birth Center. I had my prenatal care with a midwife, through the King County Public Health System. I found my prenatal care with the midwifes to be very supportive, and respectful of my cultural heritage. They actually cared about the fact that I was interested in natural birth, they did not make me feel crazy or weird.
But it was still too invasive for me, because it was the public health system, they had to run all the tests and conduct all kinds of interview. I found it very strange that all kinds of tests were being done just in case something was wrong with my baby. I would think to myself, what if we focused on the fact that I was a healthy young woman, and supported my desire to have the best birthing experience, how would that impact my process? Now keep in mind, in addition to being raised by a medicine women and a midwife, I also earned my BA in Education and Cultural Understanding, and was only a thesis away from earning my MA in Human Development before I got pregnant. Which meant I had a good toolkit to advocate for myself, and ask for as much information as possible before making any decision that would impact my birthing experience and the health and well being of my baby in the long run.
So when it came time to create my birth plan, I had all the information I needed to make as ideal as possible. I remember my first day at my birth class, it was a roomful of pregnant women and their husbands/partners and when the teacher asked what we wanted to learn about the most, every woman except for me said, how to avoid pain, and how soon/how much pain medications they can get. This was disturbing for me, I did not think of child birth as painful, I did not see child birth as something to be medically tolerated. I saw it as a natural process, a magical event to facilitate the bringing of a new life to this world! A privilege I was not blessed in taking part, so I asked my birth teacher to support me in learning how to avoid pain medications, dig deep into my womanhood and find the wisdom and strength that has empowered women to birth their babies naturally.
Now I must admit, it was very awkward to be the only one in the class that wanted natural birth, it was lonely, and I remember wondering, maybe I am weird, maybe it would be easier to be like everyone else. Fortunately I was used to being the odd ball, following a path less traveled was nothing new to me. The weird part about this time though, was that I was following a path that I thought was the norm. It was the only normal I knew, I was born at home, all my siblings were born at home, everyone I know in our village was born at home, my mom was the midwife for everyone that gave birth in our village. So I did not feel I was really going off the bitten path, I was not doing anything that innovative at all!
When the time came to welcome my second child, Nubiya three and half years later, I was much more prepared to advocate for myself better and assure a home birth. So I did a bit of research and found the best midwifery in town, Expecting the Best. They are no longer in practice under that name, but both of them are still actively supporting natural birth, prenatal care and families in general. Micheal Serju, who is now the executive director of Open Arms, and Tracy Cooper, the co-owner of Puget Sound Birthing Center in Renton and the current president of Washington State Midwifery Association. I remember when Nubiya was born, my midwifes along with my amazing doula and soul sister, Tizita Assefa were such a blessing of a team.
I labored in the water, downstairs of my house, the whole room was full of candlelight, we had music playing, my three and half year old Bilen was present, she even got in the pool with me at one point. My labors tend to be a bit long, especially with the first two ( I have a total of four children), and after a night full of labor, I was starting to get sick of the scenery, so we decided to go for a walk. It was such a magical walk, surrounded by two midwifes, two midwifery students and my doula. We were singing, laughing, and whenever I felt a contraction coming, I would stop, lean on my doula and ride it off, and go back to walking. Soon after our return from the walk, Nubiya was born!
Needless to say, my last two were born at home as well, and I am so grateful to say, Tracy Cooper has been the midwife for all four of my home birth experiences. We have had a family history that has now stretched over eight years!