5 Essential Tips to Thrive as a New Mom
Photo: Beri Gebrehiwot
Written by: Beri Gebrehiwot
Last year, I gave birth to my daughter, my third baby. They say each pregnancy is different and each child is different. Well, my first two pregnancies were the same, but my third one was different. She was also different as an infant and demanded more from me with her feeding and sleep schedules. I felt like I was a new mom, as I was learning how to meet her needs and do things differently from what I had done with my other babies. I didn’t feel confident as a mom this time around.
I recently shared three tips that really helped me thrive during this time and wanted to add two additional tips that I feel will help any new mom embarking on this journey. There are a ton of resources on the internet and a ton of ideas on what this new season should look and feel like- honestly, go with what feels good to you, trust your gut instinct regarding your body and your baby, go at your own pace AND give yourself a lot of grace. There is no manual for this motherhood and parenting thing, but there’s one definite and sure thing- and that’s this: give yourself and your baby a LOT of Love, because that is a must.
Be kind to yourself
Your body just performed a miracle and is going through a lot to heal and get things back in order (I.e hormones normalizing to pre-pregnancy state) after carrying and delivering a baby. Not everyone gets to experience the miracle you just experienced so thank your body, and give it all the love with your words (positive self talk or affirmations) and action (eat healthy foods and walk). This is not the time to day dream about a “snap back” so rest and allow time for the recovery process.
Don’t compare your journey to others
This one is hard to do if you’re on social media- so if you struggle in this area, I would say give yourself a break from social media and be completely present in this new season with no distractions. Being off of social media will also help you lead with your gut instincts versus what you’re seeing / following on social media. There’s a lot of great info out there, but even an overload of positive information is overwhelming and can be stressful— So, instead of scrolling through your favorite Instagram stories when your little one is sleeping, take a advantage of a nap!
Build a community around you
There is nothing more beautiful than having a tribe of sisters to do life with and lean on in every season. Find a mommy group in your community to help you get out of the house with baby. Use our FB Community page to find moms in your city and start a stroller gang!
Ask for help and don’t decline help
As cultural moms, we might have the characteristic of being demure (reserved or modest. P.S. I just learned this word and had to use it in this context.) Being demure may be acceptable in most situations, but not now. Not when you’ve just had a baby. Take all of the help that is offered from your in-laws and family/friends. Your instinct might be to politely say that you’re “okay” but trust me, you will need this help. Simply say, “thank you” and allow people to show up for you.
On the flipside, if you are not being offered the help, then you’ll need to get out of your comfort zone and ask for help. Think of the specific things you need help with and simply ask your in-laws and family/friends to help you as you transition to mommy-mode in this new season. Being a mom is mentally, physically and emotionally exhausting so having a game plan for the first couple of months will make a difference as you start this new journey.
I understand not everyone has family/friends around them, so other resources might be:
hiring a Mother’s helper (like a nanny, except they help moms with household tasks i.e. folding laundry, dishes, etc.)
hiring a nanny or au pair to help with baby and light housework
looking for a mom in your neighborhood who would like to partner with you for a Nanny share (this is when two families hire a nanny together and split the cost)
finally- joining your local neighborhood Facebook groups and asking other moms what they are using in their adjustment to motherhood
Postpartum Depression is Real, so be honest about how you are feeling
According to the CDC, 1 in 8 women suffer from postpartum depression. In addition to the taboo in our community surrounding mental health, Moms also feel guilt and shame for experiencing feelings of sadness and struggle during a time that should be marked with joy and celebration. Please speak with your doctor, your partner and/or a trusted friend about what you are feeling and take action to get the help you need. Every person will experience postpartum depression in different ways, not all depression looks the same, and therefore the approach and treatment will be different for each person. Remember, this is not your fault; postpartum depression is caused by the hormonal imbalance in your body due to pregnancy and birth. Here are some tips to help you cope with postpartum depression:
Stay connected. Studies continue to show that moms who have a strong support system have lower rates of postpartum depression.
Prioritize physical activity. Physical activity boosts feel good chemicals in your brain called Endorphins and improve your sense of well being. This can be as simple as a 30 minute walk outside.
Prioritize a healthy diet. A healthy diet with fruits, vegetables, whole grains and fish has been shown to decrease the risk of depression.
Schedule weekly time for yourself without baby. Even if it’s just for 1-2 hours, you need this breather.
If you are struggling to cope with postpartum depression, Call or Text the National Maternal Mental Health Hotline at 1-833-TLC-MAMA (1-833-852-6262) for Free, Confidential, 24/7 mental health support for moms and their families before, during, and after pregnancy.
Motherhood is the most beautiful experience and journey one can embark on, but it certainly is the hardest at the same time. Still, every moment is worth it. If you are a first time mom reading this, Congratulations to you on your new bundle of joy!
If you are pregnant and expecting, here are 5 things you can do to prepare for postpartum!
If you enjoyed this blog post, please share it with your mom friends and invite them to our FB community. See you on the other side (our FB community group)!