Q&A with Aster Habte on raising a special needs child, how the Pandemic has impacted her family and the important message she has for cultural moms and communities.

Name: Aster Habte

Background: I grew up in London and moved to Dallas, TX in 1995. I have worked in the Hospitality Industry, Accounting and Operations Manager for a manufacturing Company for a high-end home fragrance Company. Unfortunately, due to COVID-19, I have been laid off since March of last year. And of course, I have been home schooling since March of last year, so there is that.

Kids + ages: Eli is 15 and Evan is 12. I have been a single mom for almost 10 years

You're an awesome advocate for your sons, and especially for your first born. Tell us more about him.

Eli was born with Down Syndrome. I found out of his diagnoses after he was born. It was very shocking to say the least, but the good news was that he did not have any heart defects as most Children born with Down Syndrome do. It was exceedingly difficult the first few months trying to digest it all in. But, I put on my big girl panties and never looked back. Down Syndrome does not define who Eli is.

Would you say your cultural background as an Eritrean woman, has impacted your experience as a mom to a special needs child? How so?

Absolutely, my mother is the strongest mother I know. She left Eritrea when I was 2 years old to “work” in Beirut, due to the war. My father could not find a job and my mother was a nanny in Eritrea to an American family. Once the war got worse, she was offered to continue the work but in another Country.

Can you imagine leaving your four (I’m the youngest) children behind to move to another foreign country in order to be the bread winner? Ugh…makes me choke up every time I think about it. So, if my mother could go through years without seeing her Children, not by choice, I can take care of and advocate for Eli.

What have you learned during this pandemic with a special needs child? What services or resources were limited or removed due to the pandemic?

Being a single mom, I was always running around like a headless chicken, but this pandemic has benefited us in so many ways. I have had so much time to sit and enjoy my boys! Home schooling for Eli is going great, he has always had amazing teachers. My boys and I have become even more closer.

What do you want families with special needs kids to know during this pandemic? Are there services or resources you've learned about during this time?

Keep kicking doors, keep going higher up and do not give up. You are your child’s voice!

On a side note, anyone living in the Fort Worth, Dallas and surrounding areas, we have a wonderful Community service that is organized by Leah Seyoum-Tesfa. It is called Reaching Families Advocacy and Support Group (RFASG).

What do you want others to know about families who are raising special needs kids?

Honestly, be thankful of your typical Child's accomplishments, do not take them for granted. Let your kids be. Milestones are a huge celebration in the Special Needs Community.

What do you want to share with us, specifically as Eritrean and Ethiopian people, in terms of what it's like raising a special needs kid within our culture?

DO NOT HIDE YOUR KIDS! Teach people, advocate for them, celebrate them and enjoy them. Good or bad days. There is nothing to be ashamed of.

What does your current self care routine look like, especially during a pandemic?

I get out for fresh air as much as I can. I love sunrise and sunset moments. Morning walks are motivation and evening walks are praising the end of another day.

What tips do you have for single moms, and/or moms raising a special needs child in terms of self care?

It is ok to have a bad day. It is ok to let go of guilt. It is ok to get/ask for help. There is no shame! Every mother has challenging days. Be happy, focus on your influence.

Any other thoughts/reflections you would love to share?

Laugh every single DAY! My humor is everything, I do not take anything serious. You cannot change what you cannot control. Let it go and stop worrying. Enjoy the moments and take lots of pictures!

Thank you so much for taking time out of your busy schedule to share your reflection and experiences with us, Aster. Thank you for being such an incredible voice and advocate for, not just your son, but all families with a special needs child. You make your son feel SEEN, and, simultaneously, you make other moms in our community feel seen and heard as well.

I'm a true believer in sharing our stories and giving support while sharing our experiences on this Motherhood journey. You're amazing- keep shining!