Written by : Beri Gebrehiwot

In the wake of the horrific and senseless killings of Ahmaud Arbery and George Floyd, my heart froze in anger, fear, sadness and confusion. I mourned the loss of innocent black men and subsequently feared the loss of the black men in my own life. My husband, my brothers, my family members and, unfathomably, my son.

After witnessing the anguish in my husband’s heart in response to watching the George Floyd killing that was streaming for the world to see, I felt a burden that I had never felt before. A great responsibility and urgency to affirm and encourage and protect my husband as well as the black men in my life. It was overwhelming.

I knew that any feeling I had about these incidents and our current climate was only tripled in the hearts and minds of the men in my life. And that truly saddened me.

So, I did what I felt was the only thing I could do at the moment. The one thing I always turn to when my heart is heavy and my words fail me. I turned to writing. I started with a letter to my husband, followed by a text to the black men in my life. I wrote to acknowledge their grief, anger and fear. To offer encouragement and empowerment. To affirm their value to me, to our family and to this world. To remind them They Matter as Black Men.

Below is the letter I wrote to my husband. I’m sharing this because I hope you will do the same in writing, texting, affirming and loving on the black men in your lives- ESPECIALLY now. They need us to remind them that they matter and that we are fighting for them and alongside them.

P.S. If you have black sons who are old enough to read, write them a letter as well. It’s never too early or late to affirm them and build them up.

To my best friend and king,

I want you to know that I see and feel your hurt, your frustration, your bottled up emotions as you move forward with work and taking care of our family with a strong, composed and positive attitude. 

I’m so sorry that you had to witness such a traumatizing image of an innocent black man being murdered at the hands of people we are supposed to trust in and feel protected by. 

I’m sorry that this has stirred up past interactions with police in your own life as a young teen. Thank you for sharing that with me- I had no idea. 

I want you to know that you are SO loved by so many. You are the rock of our family and the center of my world. 

Your beautiful brown skin is powerful- because YOU are powerful. Know that. You were created in God’s image, with perfection. You embody so much goodness, so much love, so much power. And if the world doesn’t always see that- that’s their loss.

Know that WE, the people who know you and every single person who has ever had the honor of getting to know you, or even speak with you briefly, sees your brilliance, your genuine heart, your loving nature, your drive and desire for success, your witty personality, your ability to navigate any situation with ease, your ability to focus on things within your control, your ability to give and care for those you love. 

Know that YOU ARE ENOUGH.

Know that I will ALWAYS, always, always have your back and will always fight for you and stand by you, shield you, protect you, love you. 

Know that it’s okay to feel the emotions you’re feeling right now. Know that I am always the person for your heart to connect with, cry with, confide in... 

Know that you were created with a purpose. You were born for such a time as this... you, we, will be okay. You are a seed. You are a child of GOD and an heir to His kingdom. What you don’t complete here on Earth, you will have 1000 x more in heaven and in Eternity with God. 

Do not let current circumstances cripple you with fear. Go in boldness. Go in love. Go in the confidence that no weapon formed against you will ever prevail. Go in purpose. 

I love you so much, just thinking about it overwhelms me. 

You’re amazing. You’re the most amazing man I have ever (literally, ever) met. ️

xx,
Your best friend, your wife, your queen.