Submitted by: Kate Jann

Tell us about your background:

I was born and raised in Kenya, then relocated to Minnesota when I was 17 years old. I met my husband, and we got married shortly after turning 18. Fourteen years later, we have five wonderful children and we continue growing and learning how to build a God centered family and marriage.

How old are your kids:

Our kids are ages 11, 7, 6, 3 and 1.

What is your current work:

I am a photographer and SAHM.

What is your current Self-Care routine:

Sleeping in, buying myself flowers, going out to dinner with close friends, grabbing a Starbucks and reading my favorite book alone, listening to motivational/ personal growth podcasts, retail therapy, replacing negative self talk with self love statements and unplugging from social media every once in a while.

Do you think your culture makes Self-Care or prioritizing yourself harder:

Absolutely! African mothers (especially my mother) are something magical. Seeing how much they are able to accomplish in taking care of their families- working and running their households all while being great wives is amazing. But in the process of juggling everything, there’s this underlying message- that we have to put our families first because it’s our duty, and that we as mothers have to be selfless because if we’re not, it will negatively affect our children and our husbands- causing things to fall apart.

But the truth is it won’t. Things will only fall apart when:

• when we are too worn down to take care of anything

• when we are extremely irritable and small things set us off because we are so depleted and have nothing left to give

• when we have lost joy in life because of burnout, yet expect our children to be happy.

I believe this negatively impacts our families both now and long term. That’s why it’s so crucial for us to let go of the weight that cultural expectation imposes on us mothers, and the shame and guilt that comes with it. Instead, we should choose to take time to fill ourselves up and take care of ourselves, so that we may be able to pour into our families in love. Self-care is indispensable to being a great wife and mothering with excellence.