Written by : Beri Gebrehiwot

What emotions come up for you when you think about taking a Pause? Do you get excited about the opportunity to recharge and gain clarity? Or, do you get anxious and tell yourself you have too much to do to slow down or rest?

For me, unfortunately, it’s the latter. I have a really hard time slowing down. The idea of taking pause, altogether gives me anxiety, to be honest.

I think there are a few reasons why this is true for me. For starters, I’m a (recovering and still working on) perfectionist. The idea of stepping away from something, without my helicopter mom-ish control all over it, can be frightening. What if it all falls apart in my absence? What if I miss out on something important? What if people move on?

BUT, as hard as this is for me, I do, in fact, take a Pause from time to time. I like to call it a POWER PAUSE- it makes me feel more empowered.

Here’s why it’s important to give yourself a Pause from time to time

• Rest. Yes, you are worthy of rest, Mama. Don’t feel guilty about refueling- you are not a robot, you’re a human with real, basic needs like rest, water, nutritious foods, emotional outlets and security.

• Time for Reflection. You don’t really know where you’re at in perspective to where you want to be or where you’ve come from, if you don’t take the time to reflect on those things. I like to call this- Taking Inventory. Here’s a great workbook I created to help guide you in taking inventory of every area of your life. Do it with a friend or partner, and start getting honest about where you’re really at, your future self will thank you for it!

• Clarity. If you feel like you’re experiencing the same unwanted results over and over again or spinning your wheels on the same thing with no results, than you’re lacking clarity. It sounds counterintuitive, but the best thing you can do is to step away from it for a while… the truth is, you can’t gain clarity when you’re exhausted. It takes courage to step away. Fear keeps us spinning our wheels and makes us believe that we will fall if we are not in control. Don’t believe this lie. Step away. Get rest. Seek sound counsel.

• Busy or Productive? Someone once responded to my whining about being too busy on a particular day by asking me a question that stopped me in my tracks. “Are you busy just to be busy, or are you actually productive?” (ummmm, yeah. If that question makes you cringe, than I think you know the answer!) Look, we live in a society that glamorizes “the hustle” and having a million side-hustles and projects… but there is a right way and wrong way to be busy. If you haven’t identified what productivity looks like or should look like for you- in your home, your personal life or your business- then chances are you’re just “busy” with tasks that won’t get you anywhere. Take time to reflect on what it is you do each and every day and why you do it. Maybe it’s time to create new habits to support the life you want? Here’s a post I wrote on making new habits stick.

• Helicopter view. As painful as it is to admit this- being busy, is usually a symptom of not having structure. Often. I want to make sure to recognize the fact that- Yes- as moms, we really do have a Ton on our plates and we really are busy. But, I think you will be surprised to learn that you can cut some of that busy work down by a lot, if we have the courage to Pause, take a Step Back and look at the Big Picture… instead of what is just in front of us. When we see the big picture, the helicopter view, we have the capacity to plan, delegate, think outside the box, get creative and problem solve in a more productive way. We already have things that come up unexpectedly with our kids and family that require our immediate response- but our day to day responsibilities shouldn’t be approached in that manner. It. Will. Lead. To. Burn Out. It will also strip you of enjoying your life and your family from a place of Joy. You deserve better, Mama.

• Intention. Taking a Pause allows us to be more intentional about how we want to feel, how we want to spend our day and time with our family. Taking a pause allows us to experience uninterrupted time, being present with our kids- with no obligations, no distractions, no anxiety about getting to our To-Do List. Just simply enjoying the present moment. Here’s an activity you can do to choose Focus Words for any your day, week or year.

My Motivation for a Power Pause

I often think about my mom and how much of a super-mom she really was. Over the years, I began to strip her of her supernatural powers and see her in human form. She’s a human. With the same amount of hours in a day as me. She has the same needs as I do. How in the world was she able to do all that she did, and do it with so much Grace and Love on top if it all??

The truth is, she didn’t have the same kinds of distractions that I do today. She wasn’t on Facebook or Instagram. She didn’t have perfectly curated accounts from other moms to compare herself to. She didn’t have access to Google to search every parenting style and response she should have to everything her kids did. My mother raised 6 kids, using her own wisdom and intuition, by relying on her own “knowing” and by relying on her faith. She didn’t have an education. She barely understood or had any knowledge of the new society and country in which she raised us in. But she did it. With LOTS of Grace and Love. (I can’t express enough, the amount of Grace and Love she gave us.)

Look, as moms in this exact time and this particular society- we have to be able to analyze (and re-analyze often) the way we are showing up each day. We have to be purposeful about the way we live, the way we parent and the way we show up each day.

What I’ve learned in this season

One thing I learned during this pandemic is that my life looked a certain way, the way I thought it had to look like, before the pandemic— but the way it looks like today is SO much better. I prefer this lifestyle over my previous one because:

• I’m so much more intentional with my time

• I’m more present with my family

• I have more clarity about what is important to me and what really matters in this life

• The fact that this life is temporary was more evident

• The fact that I have an expiration date on my life was at the forefront of this season- and this took me from a place of fear and uncertainty, to a place of immense gratitude and DRIVE to live a life of purpose. To make sure I mattered to my family and friends. To make sure I shared my gifts with the world. To make sure my kids FELT my presence and unconditional love each day. To make sure my husband FELT my presence and immense gratitude and love for an amazing partner and best friend.

I’m walking away from this season and year with this mantra:

SQUEEZE EVERY LAST DROP OUT OF EVERYTHING GOOD IN YOUR LIFE. and there is soooo much goodness in my life that I will continue to be grateful for- AND demonstrate that with the way I choose to spend my time.

I want to hear from you!

Was this blog post helpful? Would you like to dive deeper into each of these sections with a community of other moms? Would you enjoy starting your New Year with accountability to self-reflect, gain more clarity and show up as the woman you Know you’re created to be?

In the name of living a purposeful life, I’m taking this community I’ve built over the last 6 years and solidifying our foundation. I’m taking the steps necessary to ensure this community is more than just a Facebook group, but an actual community and organization that will continue to connect, support and empower cultural moms like you and me!

If you’d love to learn more about our next steps and would like to be informed about how you can be involved- Please fill out this short form- it would help me greatly to know how many of us have a desire to continue building a community for moms like us!

I can’t thank you enough for being on this journey of Motherhood with me over the last SIX YEARS! woohoo!! I am so thankful for each and every one of you. Cheers to a new year full of health, great joy, clarity, peace and courage to show up as the way we’ve always envisioned ourselves to be!

With so much love and gratitude,
Beri Gebrehiwot